Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize