hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
