I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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