If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
