I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
