i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
