Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
