like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
