last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
