bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
