Apparently you make a good broom.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
