His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
