if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Everyone says I win the strip club
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
