i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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