To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
