Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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