just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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