you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
