So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
