I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
