Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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