She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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