Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
