...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
