R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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