You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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