I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
