he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
