can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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