if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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