He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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