Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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