I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just googled if crying burns calories
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
