Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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