You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
