she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
