Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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