If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
