Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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