didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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