No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
