Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
