Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
