i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
