You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
