Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
