I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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