can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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