they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Randomize
