He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I wear drunk well.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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