I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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