i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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