I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
