i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she smelled like a LAN party
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
