The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I did not marry a roomba.
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