At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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