Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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